2nd post today...feel like venting

So I have been noticing a lot lately that I talk wayyy too much when I get comfortable around people. I don't mean to make it sound like I'm constantly saying me, my, or I but I'm not conceited or self absorbed I'm just lonely, I guess....The only adult time I get is at work and to be quite honest I don't really talk there because A) I'm the youngest on my shift which leads to -> B)I have nothing in common with any of them.  C)Anything I say can and IS used against me and told to the "higher ups" which entails me to be in trouble for the dumbest B.S. ever. and lastly D)Everything they say is right....and you can't argue or disagree because they are old and know better...(rolling eyes!)

 

 

I know people who I get close to or at least a little comfortable get tired of my constant talking but I just get sooo excited (and cut people off rudely...but not on purpose) that I can talk to someone who is an adult...yes I have my husband and friends that I talk to pretty much daily but with his crazy work schedule and my work schedule and workout schedule its hard to have time for each other and I don't want all our conversations to be via text messages.

 

 

I've been working on being less negative...I still have a hard time when its comes to certain people and subjects but I'm still a work in progress.....NOW my other personal goal is to talk less. And be more polite.

 

 

 

 

Something that has been weighing on my heart the past couple days is that everything happens for a reason and God puts you in situations that he wants you to learn in. It may not be where you want to be or what you want to do but that is his will or way of teaching. I have tried to see why I have been put in this certain situation that I will not specifically spell out but I think I have finally figured it out.

There's a woman who I'm around alot in 'this situation' and she is the epitome of me but in her mid 50's. She is always negative, talks back, is a rebel and just doesn't give a flying Fuck, She does what she wants when she wants and doesn't care what rules she is breaking and doesn't really care about  that that may put her future and family/finances in jeopardy.

 

 

She is not successful at all, expects things to be handed to her versus working for them, which is not me but I don't want to end up like her. She has TONS of health problems due to her rebellious past and not taking care of herself till now.

I'm using her as a role model.....of how I DON'T want to be! And how I should change, lesson learned!