Motivation.

I'm not trying to brag but I have gotten a lot of compliments since losing weight more than I have most of my life. When I have off days.. you know the days you just want to clean out the fridge with your mouth or when you go to the grocery store hungry and want to throw some twizzlers and cookie dough in your cart I try to think about things that motivate me.

I think about the inspirational quotes or sayings I have seen on Fb, IG, or Pinterest. But most importantly I think of the people who motivate me. You would think I would more likely run the compliments or the messages I have received from sweet people or the people who ask for advice desperately wanting to change.

But no I think of all the nasty and hateful mother fuckers who have hurt my feelings in one way, shape, or form!

Like two girls that I am unfortunately related to through marriage who made Thanksgiving of 2011 a nightmare. They both laughed hysterically while making shitty comments about how big I was... mind you I was 8 months pregnant, sick, and was working nights so I definitely didn't want to be awake all day dealing with bullshit! To this day I will look at them, thankfully on the very rare occasions I see them, and just glare!

Or a couple months ago when my cousin and I got into a mature Fb argument over his drug use and he called me a fat bitch. I gladly replied Im not fat anymore! And that felt awesome to KNOW that I am not fat anymore even if I'm not where I want to be!

Another situation I think of when I need the extra push is the last guy I dated before I met my now husband was abusive mentally and physically. I'm so thankful I got out of that relationship when I did because I knew from the start I didn't want to have kids with him or spend my life scared. Anyways, he told me about a month or so before I finally ended it that I better not get fat if we ever split. I said, "what does that matter?" I don't remember exactly what he said but it was along the lines of, "you being any bigger would be very unattractive!"

So thank you assholes you unknowingly helped me shed 80 pounds, 5 pant sizes, go from a 2X to a medium shirt and one child size XL shirt and push myself harder than I ever thought possible! And with any luck that will help me shed my last 20lbs!

-Duffswife