Today calls for a 2nd post.

This is not my proudest post but I forgot to put in my 1st post that I have been a "binger" most of my life. A couple of times in my life I will admit that I was a purger too. And sadly about 5-ish years ago I would binge and then abuse over the counter laxatives, this one didn't last but a month or two not (that it makes it any better).No one knows any of this and why am I telling the world.. err a few readers this?? Because I read a post on IG (Instagram) yesterday and it hit me hard. I know I'm not the only one who has done these and I won't be the last but it feels damn good to get this off my shoulders! I had to share to hopefully help others that may have this same problem.

I read this post a couple of times and it just made me really think about why I have binged... Lately it has been from a lot of different things like I have said in past posts it hasn't been taking much to trigger my bad eating decisions. Today I woke up ready to "reward" myself with junk since I was strict yesterday. I thought about my reward before, during, and after eating it and I feel no guilt and have hardly any cravings after the little indulgence.

I also love how she talked about women who are skinny aren't healthy. I know a handful of girls who are way too skinny, eat shit in small portions, a few don't exercise, and the kicker they all can't hardly pick up their kid(s) or be active with them because they are so weak!

It really put in perspective that I don't need to mainly focus on my size but also on my health and make sure I don't cause myself to be miserable! When I did the cleanse I was miserable and cranky! I wanted some fucking bread and white pasta! I wanted a slice of Pizza Hut pizza.  Lets just say 100% clean eating is not for me.... right now anyways. 

Maybe it would've gone better if I learned more about it and got more familiar with different recipes.

You may be wondering why I'm sharing such a personal thing and as I have expressed before this is like my little online journal that not only helps me vent and get out some of my A.D.D. thoughts but might help others in this Life long fight/journey.