I'll never be cool... and that is okay!

Sometimes I look at certain ladies and wonder why I am not a cool person. I mean I think I have a great personality. Yes, I'm busy these days but what mom isn't? Sometimes I wonder what is the difference between them and me? Sometimes I get down on myself because I don't have a nice car, or the best clothes, and I'm not that stylish. No woman will ever be envious of me.... Not that that is a goal I'm just speaking out loud. My blog won't have a big following.

I have always had anxiety when it comes to planning parties even when I was a big party girl. Hardly anyone would ever show up.

For the baby's 1st birthday last year about 50 couples RSVP'd to come but only about 10 actually came. I'm thankful for the people who came but the fact that those people were supposed to come and didn't digs deep.

Another example is my January 2012 baby shower. I had probably 70-ish people RSVP and we spent a ton of money on food and alcoholic & non-alcoholic drinks because it was a BBQ theme. Well only about 8 show how..talk about devastating. I don't have family and of course none of the hubs family showed up. I know I shouldn't care but it still pisses me off that these snobby bitches who have everything handed to them and have the personality of a piece of tape have huge parties and tons of friends...

Don't get me wrong I'm thankful for the few people in our life and I enjoy every second I have with the baby diva and the hubs but sometimes I would just like for my phone to ring and it not be the babysitter or the hubs who is in the bathroom asking for some TP.

 I have been training for this half marathon since August and with me being so busy it has caused several "friendships" to end. One person specifically won't text me back at all for a couple weeks now which is fine. I'm not going to put more effort into friendships than others do if that makes sense. But we are both in separate places in our lives. She is recently single and wanting to party and mingle. Me? I'm over the whole partying thing and haven't had a drink since June. I'm happily married and honestly have trouble staying up till 10pm let alone 2am.


I'm not trying to make this post sound depressing I guess I have just come to the realization that I will never be cool or have a lot of friends... and that is okay! :)